“He said, Look, I’m not asking you to spend an hour with me
A quick salvation sandwich and a cup of sanctity,
The cost is you, not half of you, but every single bit,
Now tell me, will you follow me? I said Amen — I quit.”
-When I Became a Christian, Adrian Plass
That quote is taken from what is quite possibly my favourite pieces of poetry... ever. It is a fictional dialogue between the author and God as seen from the perspective of the author. It resonates greatly with me for its unique way of expressing the emotions and the confusion that I felt at my own conversion to Christianity. I personally find the quote above to be the most poignant part of the whole thing.
The challenge God lays down to Adrian and to us is this: Following God is more than a mere pit-stop at salvation then skipping off into the heavenly sunset.
This resonates not just with me but also with so many other Christians for whom life as a Christian has been no easy walk in the park. It reminds us that there is much more to being a Christian than just believing in Jesus died for our sins, fundamental though that is. I think that it also highlights a problem so many Christians face: we love the prize of Christianity but are vastly less keen on the cost. We love the hope of Heaven and the eternal joy there where Revelation 21:4 tells us there will be “no more weeping or mourning or crying or pain”. We love the family that we get to have in Christ, we love the unity and the singing and the confidence that God is in control. But when we are confronted with the cost of the journey, when we discover the road to heaven isn't a quick ride through this fallen world in the first class carriage of the heavenly bullet train, well it's easy to find ourselves disappointed and hurt isn't it? Unfortunately the Christian life has much more in common with the long and difficult trek to Mordor of JRR Tolkien's Lord of The Rings trilogy, complete with the ups and downs along the way than we would like... albeit the destination of our journey is much nicer.
Walking with God is a lot like marriage, which would be really profound of me to write about if it wasn't so unoriginal that the Bible itself uses the simile, calling Jesus the "Bridegroom" and the church the "Bride". I hear couples at weddings vow to endure together “for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish and obey until death” and can't help but be reminded that God calls us to make that exact vow to Him. This is not the vow of someone expecting a nice easy life, and like the protagonist of the poem we so often find ourselves quitting or at the very least capitulating to the siren call of a road we perceive to be easier.
Salvation may be freely offered but it was very costly to God, Father, Son and Spirit. And in that costliness He has set us the example we are expected to follow. We aren't called to be faithful examples of idyllic Christian living but rather to demonstrate what it looks like to joyfully count the cost of following Christ. More so even, much like Job in the Old Testament as he praises God (“The Lord gives and The Lord has taken away. The name of the Lord be praised” Job 1:21), we too are called to praise God even as we take up our heavy wooden cross each day.
Herein lies the problem. Being in ministry doesn't make us any less human than anyone else. We in ministry tend to be about as happy and content counting the cost as anyone else. Sacrifices are hard to make irrespective of what you do, especially when we really want something we know we can't or shouldn't have. It's not all gloom, what we have now and what we will have in the future are incalculably more valuable and wonderful than we can imagine. It's just often hard to put that value into perspective when the things we want but can't have are right in front of us, tempting us.
Ministry isn't a job. It's not a hobby. It's a calling. One that has a habit of getting in the way of what we want. We can't just do things our way. Why? Firstly because as part of a team we cannot be exclusively autonomous, the needs of the team must come before our own desires. God commands us to consider the needs of others a higher priority than what we want in Philippians 2:3 where we are commanded “Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves”. To strike out alone is to abandon the family that God has raised up as our ministry team. It is to selfishly put ourselves before those we serve and those we serve with. It is to go against God as creator and ruler of everything, it is to take His authority in our lives and give it to ourselves. This is sin in a nutshell isn’t it? Telling God to take the back seat so we can do what we want even though we know what His will is.
Secondly, we cannot act our own way because God calls for integrity in leaders above and beyond all others. We are to be more aware of our own sinfulness, more self controlled and more accountable. Indeed, James instructs in Chapter 3 of his letter, “not many [of you] should become teachers (self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standard and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation].” Not big on pulling punches, is he?
Why does it even matter what those in ministry do? It matters because as leaders of God's people we are called to care for God’s people. . When leaders fail, we are guilty of creating a barrier between someone and God, and our task is to help engage them with God, not disconnect them further.. To create such a barrier is to push people away from God, to do the very opposite of what we’re called to do, the consequence of which is a heavy burden indeed. With that in mind it is no wonder we have such high standards to abide by.
This means that whilst all Christians are is still called to make sacrifices and to take up their cross and follow Jesus, those who serve in ministry whether as children's workers, SRE volunteers or paid church staff can and should expect to be held to a higher and stricter standard. They are called to give up more to meet that standard, not because they are better, holier or more worthy but because as shepherds of God’s beloved people, He calls those who lead them to account for their life and doctrine. . Ultimately,they will also reap the reward in Heaven for obeying God’s call and leading and serving well. Unfortunately, that high standard doesn't come with an easier life. Christ himself was called to the highest standard (to be utterly sinless) yet he still faced trial, temptation, pain, suffering and ultimately the cross, and it is Christ that we follow. It is Christ that we serve.
Those marriage vows I mentioned earlier? They don't say “for as long as it's convenient” or “for as long as things are going in my favour”. They say “for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health until death”.
I think that this is perfectly captures in the final part of the Adrian Plass poem.
“Are you man enough to see the need, and man enough to go,
Man enough to care for those whom no one wants to know,
Man enough to say the thing that people hate to hear,
To battle through Gethsemane in loneliness and fear.
And listen! Are you man enough to stand it at the end,
The moment of betrayal by the kisses of a friend,
Are you man enough to hold your tongue, and man enough to cry?
When nails break your body-are you man enough to die?
Man enough to take the pain, and wear it like a crown,
Man enough to love the world and turn it upside down,
Are you man enough to follow me, I ask you once again?
I said, Oh Lord, I’m frightened, but I also said Amen.
Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen; Amen, Amen, Amen,
I said, Oh Lord, I’m frightened, but I also said, Amen.”
This is what we as Christian leaders are called to. This is the cost. Is it worth it? Absolutely! Is it easy? No. But we have God, we have a personal relationship with the dude who made the universe, we have His Holy Spirit to strengthen us for the good works He prepared for us in advance, we have His armour against the attacks of the evil one and we have the promise of that day when the old order will pass away and Heaven will break through to earth and on that day, no one who counted the cost will say that they didn't think it was worth it. And they will receive their reward in full.
