The Grass is Brown on our side of the fence...Mostly

Church should be a place where people feel safe.

Youth group should be a place where people can be honest.

Bible Study should be a place where people don't pretend.

Prayer triplets should be a place where people can share.

Bible College should be a place where people feel accepted.

They're not.

Well… at least a lot of the time they're not.

You can scroll down to read my views on Christians playing pretend.

But this post isn't actually about those Christians.

I want to address the root cause of the Christian happy face, one reason for the high levels of undiagnosed treatable mental illnesses amongst Christians, one reason that many passionate and godly Christians walk out or fall away.

Poor community.

This is something which is becoming a bit of a soapbox for me. Why? Because I talk to a lot of Christians, some of the conversations I have are a result of my pastoral care work however more and more I am hearing from friends about the sorry state of our community.

And it saddens me, more than that, it breaks my heart.

I want to preface the rest of this post by making it clear that not all Christian community drives me to despair. I was really encouraged that, when one of the kids from a congregation I attend went missing and their pastor put it on Facebook, some 15 odd people from that congregation headed into the city to look for him. It was massively encouraging to see the community of Christ come together out of love for the boy and his family, who are their family.

I wish I heard more stories like this.

But most of the stories I hear aren't like that. For the most, part it seems that many many churches and Christian communities get community so incredibly wrong. And a major part of that is poor pastoral care. Both training in pastoral care and practice of pastoral care.

It should not be possible for someone to withdraw from a church for two months and have no one follow them up.

It should not be that when someone withdraws from people in dealing with life's curveballs that people respond by withdrawing because "You clearly don't want to be friends”.

It should not be that a member of the congregation can be sitting in a church full of people and feel completely alone.

But this is how many Christians seem to find themselves.

Alone… left out… forgotten… abandoned.

The saying goes that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But if the grass is our community then for the most part it is brittle and brown anyway. Scorched by the sun and leached of nutrients. It lacks water, and it lacks life. Sure, we can spray paint it green but we can't hide the stinking decay that hides underneath.

Why is this the case? Well, it’s kind of obvious, Christians are broken people just like everyone else. They are sinners. Self-consumed, prideful, hateful. And when you get them together, it’s like a a stew of ugliness. That’s just how it is. But there’s more to the Gospel than just the Fall.

So what can we do? Now, here it gets tricky, because there’s a bit of a duality. On the one hand, as stated above, you have complex, wretched sinners that make up the body of Christ. On the other, you have not only the perfect example of Jesus Himself, but the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s faithfulness to His promises to enable Christians to live out that example well (John 14:15-17; 16:13). So while there’s no easy fix for this, the answer is glaringly simple, and is made up of a combination of these:

1. Push into Jesus, into who He is, the Lamb and the Shepherd, and don't pull back until your are utterly aware of your sinfulness and lostness and inability to help anyone, let alone yourself, without Him.
2. Pray that you would have His heart for the world and the people on it. ‘Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause’ sort of thing. Ask Him to transform you, your way of thinking, of being.
3. And go. Motivated by His love for you, go and be love to anyone, everyone you see around you. Listen to them, laugh with them, cry with them, shout them coffee (even, no, especially when you can't really afford it), make meals, be welcoming, care for their troubles, pray for them, bless them in whatever way you can. Do what Jesus would do. Because He loves you, you can love Him and you can love them.

And in all of this, you end up realising that IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. It’s all about Jesus. Because when it’s all about Him, it’s all about the broken, and the lost, and the needy. It’s all about love, and compassion, and generosity, and kindness until it hurts. But you won’t even noticed you’re hurting because you’re too busy loving and giving and being blessed by that (that’s the amazing counterintuitive way that God works!)

Be blessed. Bless others.